I woke up with headache, I looked around my room and glass
was broken. “Oh hey girl…” I looked up and saw my friend cleaning up the rest
of the living room “What Happened last night?” “Well, you wanted to have fun
after the concert so you threw a party at your house” “Do you have it on tape?”
“Of course, Victoria.” She said before pulling her phone. I saw myself chugging down a
bottle of vodka and then passing out, having T carry me to my room while there
were other people cheering. “Oh my god… why didn’t you stop me? This is
embarrassing.” She laughed and stopped for a second like she was thinking then
grabbed her bag, “Look, I’m going home ok? We have somewhere to be, which is
the movie set so I have to leave. See you later.” Then she left. I can’t believe
that I forgot that I have to be on set of a movie? I don’t even remember that…
“Every time I turn my back you’re doing something stupid! I
can never trust you!” “I try my best…” Then the director yelled cut “Hey! I had
so much fun last night!” A random girl walked up on me and said, she looked
familiar but I didn’t recognize her. Damn! This hangover was really getting to
me. “Oh hey… I'm glad that you had fun.” I tried giving her a normal look to
play off that I didn’t have a hangover. I heard a song called “How do you want it” By Tupac playing in
the distance; I assumed that was for a different scene or someone just really loved Tupac. “Okay everyone take a
group picture, this is it! We’re done with the movie!” I heard someone say.
Then all of the actors/actress got together in a group and
took a picture smiling, I forced myself to smile because I still felt a little
of the hangover. Now I have to wait for the premiere and all of that stuff. I
really don’t mind all of the fame its just that half of the people are so
weird… A guy selling some type of new drink came up to me offered it for free
since I was well known. Without hesitation I took a sip, It was so good. An
alien came around the corner with a laser gun “Oh my god! They’re trying to
take my brain!” I yelled.
The guy that was selling the drink had pointy ears and
handed me a machine gun and I started shooting everything until it was gone.
The ground disappeared from underneath me and I started free falling until I
hit the ground and woke up. Once again, I was at my house in my bedroom but it
wasn’t messed up this time. Assuming I passed out I took a sip from the drink
that was on the side of my bed and rolled back over, seeing an alien with a
laser gun once again. I'm so high.
Interesting. I really like how you mess around with the drug addled mental process. There's always such great potential for developing characters internally in this case. It does confuse time/space a little bit though. Did the house actually get trashed or is it her just sitting on her bed imagining all of this? Or is the point that it's not easy to tell? Keep an eye out for punctuation, grammar, spelling, and word use. It's little stuff, but quite important and easy to make small mistakes with. Dialogue, for instance, looks like this.
ReplyDelete"Reyenne, nice story. Be sure to watch out for dialogue and punctuate it properly," Tim said.
"Ahh, I'll keep an eye on it. Thanks!" Reyenne replied.
Each new person speaking is technically a new paragraph. Pretty easy stuff right? If you ever need help with stuff like this, please let me know. I'd be happy to help. Keep up the good work!
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